Stupid People. A Universal Dilemma...

Stupid People. We see them everyday. On television, on the road, in the grocery store, you know EVERYWHERE! You see them and at some point every day they do something to just fuck your day up somehow. It ranges from just a few minutes, maybe a couple hours, or just your entire day. Hell, maybe a week or longer. You have to deal with their idiotic questions, which usually involve giving them an answer  that anyone with common sense would of known the answer to before asking the damn thing and wasting your time. Then you got the classic stupid person. The stupid sports guy. You all know the stupid sports guy, he's the moron who's so desperate to be one of the guys that he jumps into any conversation that involves whatever game was on the night before or during the weekend. What makes him stupid is that he never knows what he's talking about, easiest example (which I was actually witnessed to) this one guy is talking about the NCAA Basketball Tournament. Duke won the national title the night before and this jackass starts talking about the game and asks us who we think is going to win the national title. What did we do? What else would you do in this situation? Fuck with the guy and make him look dumber for the next hour and a half until you get bored and tell him Duke already won that's what you do! I would delve into the stupid driver part of this rant, but I could go on all day about how much I hate the stupid driver. The stupid driver must be destroyed and vanquished for my life forever. Annihilated like Milli Vanilli's career. The biggest offender though, other than the before mentioned stupid driver, is the stupid person in line.
The stupid person in line is by far the most frustrating motherfucker of them all. Why? Because, the stupid person in line is actually seen and heard in plain view. Unlike the stupid driver, where you don't have to actually interact with the person or here his/her voice, you have to listen to the stupid person in line and their stupid argument or whatever waste of time bitching that they're doing. What makes them suck at life so much is the fact that you don't get to sit in driver seat while dealing with this, no, you are fucking standing while this is going on! You have to stand there, for what feels like forever, listening to the stupidest argument or conversation that's going on and getting uncomfortable to the point that you start rearranging your stance to the point that you look like a pop singer that's singing with attitude at guy that did her wrong and she's just not going to take it anymore. What we need to do is take all the stupid people, all of them (except the mentally challenged people since they can't help it and are usually smarter than the people I've mentioned), and ship them off to the worst place on earth. Like Antarctica, Wyoming, Delaware, Canada or Finland. Then make them watch rerun upon reruns of Power Rangers, Fraiser, Mad About You and worst of all Saved by the Bell: The New Class! No mercy to these offenders of common sense and normal brain function.

The Jukebox #12 - Countdown to TPC, TDCC AND SSLYBY Show Edition: Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin. F@CKING Awesome!

Discography (Well, Albums that I own)

Broom
Pershing
Let it Sway

First off this bands name is probably the most incredible name I've ever seen. When my friends Jeff and Maria told me about this band I think I had a mind explosion over the awesomeness of this bands' name. Then when I finally listened to there music? Holy Shit It's amazing! All three albums don't have a bad song on them, which is saying something in this day and age. They have a great indie rock sound that's melodic and chill, then they bring on a catchy, just plain fun rockin' sound. The lyrics are fantastic and the chorus' are unbelievably catchy to, after the second or third listen you're already singing along. Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin is just one of those bands that put you in a good mood when you pop in one of their albums. It will wake you up in the morning or put you in better mood at the end of the day. Just all around good times when listening to either of SSLYBY's albums.

I thought this was a clever idea.

Company Name Watching.... yeah.

So does anyone else enjoy laughing at company names that people come up with? No one? Is that crickets I hear? Well if you're looking for an alternative to people watching while in your car than Company name watching is the next best thing! Why? Because they're are truly tons random names out there. Like today on my way home from work. I'm just driving and all of the sudden I see on some guys van Motivated Movers. Probably not the funniest thing ever, but if you think about it's a pretty random name. How is it a random name? Think dumb ass! Has anyone in the history of the world ever been motivated to move shit? The answer is no. Like the caveman who invented the wheel, he created the wheel because he wasn't motivated to move whatever caveman had to move back then. I mean I don't think it's possible to hire someone who could be motivated to move stuff. They might come in to the situation with good intentions and wanting to earn their check, but all those factors quickly leave when the see the asshole who wants you to move some worthless China set cabinets (Don't get me started on this worthless purchase). Those things immediately kill your soul. Also, do you think they might have some type of pep rally morning meeting. Maybe start the meeting with the Rocky IV Soundtrack and reenact some montages? Or maybe this is wishful thinking on my part, but maybe the most motivating thing they can do is play Ace of Base's Beautiful Life. Huh? You ask? If you don't immediately get pumped up when that first piano note comes at you at the beginning of the song than you have no soul. You are Scrooge before the ghost and Tiny Tim. You're the asshole that laughed when Mufasa died. So....... there. Whew! Anyway, then I saw a place called The Hot Nails. Now I need to do more research on this, but I'm pretty sure that all nail salons have some funny random names. For some reason The Hot Nails stuck with me. I mean a name like that they have to be the greatest nail salon on earth! Better than Queen Latifah's place in Barbershop 2 at least. I mean there either the best or there incredibly bad. Like the type of bad when Tisha Campbell-Martin guest stared on Fresh Prince of Bel Air and everything on her was fake. Nails, hair and everything. Then Will Smith did that hilarious song (yes, the clip is provided below). So this is just a taste of company name watching and all the pop culture references you can put into it. Plus it makes dealing with traffic more enjoyable.

Nerd Alert #5 (Christmas Edition) - Skottie Young. Check It.

These are some samples from artist Skottie Young. He has a very unique and awesome style. I highly recommend checking out all his Wizard of Oz graphic novels, where he really showcases how amazing his artwork is.

Yeah that's Howard the Duck in there. Miss watching that movie....

Toys aren't as cool as they were back in the day....

So I'm hanging out with this awesome girl I'm currently dating and we head into a Toys r' Us. Why you ask? Because we're awesome. Pay attention. Anyway, so were in there in the first thing that we see was the Magic 8 Ball. The Magic 8 Ball, a treasured classic for every kid who grew up in the early 90's (late 80's as well? When was that invented again?). What do the kids have today though? A Magic 8 Ball that gives you answers in that abbreviated text shit that people use in text messages (duh!). I mean why ruin a classic toy? I mean come on! Then I come to find out that kids have the option of buying Home Depot toys. Yes, Home Depot, you know the place where you hated to go to with your dad when you were younger (yeah I work there, but that's irrelevant right now). I will say the weed trimmer is pretty cool because it loud and there's tiny nerf balls where the trimmer usually is  (yes, I was given a valid argument for justifying the toy), but everything else was just lame. Worst of all, however, was probably the dumbest toy I've ever encountered in my entire life. It's this toy called Hexbug. I don't know the point of the toy other than it's supposed to move around like a bug which is fucking retarded. If you think about it if your kid actually partakes in collecting these things aren't you subliminally telling your kid it's okay to have bugs in the house and them crawling around can be fun and accepted? I feel like this toy is aspiring kids to have their houses be like that movie Joe's Apartment. Hey! Just never get your house fumigated and let the bugs hang around. It's cool. You can be the Ace Ventura of bugs! Make your house one big Ant Farm, but you know, not just segregated to ants. Yippee! What the hell happened to acceptable toys like Lite Brite, Creepy Crawlers, Teddy Ruxpin, and Micro Machines?

I agree with you Lite Brite. Hexbugs? What are you? What is your purpose?!

Put a Bumper Sticker on your car. You Know, If you don't want any friends...

There's really nothing to elaborate on. Just read the title and you should be able to figure it out. Nobody gives a shit about your political or religious views, what cause your fighting for, if you like bikes and want to share the road with people, how proud you are of your honor roll student, or some generic comment or phrase you found at hot topics. All we want is for you to get out of our damn way and not drive 5 miles under the speed limit on the interstate while driving in the fast lane. Actually, NOBODY EVER WANTS TO READ THIS SHIT IN ANY SITUATION!!! Get over yourselves. Your voice means nothing!

Yeah I know it's a bumper sticker, but at least it's not on my car.

The Jukebox #11 - Let's Chill Out

In a Chill Mood this week and there's nothing better than a great relaxing album. Here are a few recommendations

Mason Jennings - The Flood
Freelance Whales - Weathervanes
She & Him - Volumes 1 & 2
Aloe Blacc - Good Things
Band of Horses - Infinite Arms
Belle and Sebastian - Tiger Milk & If You're Feeling Sinister
Home Video - The Automatic Process
Boards of Canada - Music Has the Right to Children
Mum - Finally We Are No One
Stars - In the Bedroom After the War
Young Galaxy - Young Galaxy
Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl Vol. 1
M83 - Before the Dawn Heals Us
Maps - We Can Create
Rufus Wainwright - Poses
Explosions in the Sky - All Their Albums.

People With B.O. = Close Talkers

What's with contractor's or any homeless looking people who go out in public stinking into high hell. I mean really? I can understand if you took a shower the night before and not the next morning because you're going to be nasty at the end of the day anyway, but, and a huge but, can you not put some damn deodorant on? Did we learn nothing from Seinfeld? We've all seen the b.o. in the car episode right (if you haven't then put yourself in time out for the rest of your life)? Everyone knows how awful a smell that is, I mean shit, it's worse than a damn fart some of the time. The mind boggles at the task of trying to comprehend what makes someone go out in public and willing smell like this. Alas, this is not what this post is about. This post is to serve as a warning and to educate. What I mean by that is if you find yourself by someone and they're reeking like they just got done being shit on by a bunch dogs, then run away. Don't worry about offending the person when you do this either. They made their choice and the repercussions that come with it when they decided to forget all sense of hygiene.  I say this because if you get stuck in their smelly tractor beam then they will talk to you! Why is this bad you ask? Because they're the worst talkers of all! CLOSE TALKERS! You know the type of people that get right up in your personal space. Not only will you take on the full force of their stench, but you have to listen to their worthless and sometimes creepy sounding conversation. Which, I guess I'll be nice even though they don't deserve it, isn't there fault. I think the stench just makes them come off that way. Plus dressing like you're a cast member from the Devil's Rejects doesn't help either. Still doesn't excuse the awful smell that will ruin any sense of happiness you were having that minute before they approached you. So you've all been warned! Beware of the Stench!