The Jukebox #8 - Top Ten Songs of the Week

1. Party and Bull Shit (Ratatat Remix) - Notorious B.I.G.
2. Young Men Dead - The Black Angels
3. John the Revelator - Curtis Stigers & The Forest Rangers
4. Snakecharming the Masses - The Stills
5. Sexting - Ludacris
6. Love is a Drug - New Politics
7. Fuck You! - Cee Lo Brown
8. Waiting for the End - Linkin Park
9. Above and Below - The Bravery
10. Dreams - Young Galaxy

Idiots and Rain..

If you ever wonder how stupid someone you know is just see how they react when they're driving and it starts to rain. Why do you ask? Rain has become the official "How fucking stupid are you" test. I say that because the true idiocy of people becomes fully apparent when it starts to rain. They start driving like they just got there got their drivers permit and drive as slow as a 90 year old in the fast lane who shouldn't be driving in the first place. The best part about these dumb ass fuckos is when it does start to rain (and I'm not talking full on heavy rain that makes you put your wipers on full blast) they immediately break like a damn tree just fell in the street. You literally start wanting these people to die just for their stupidity. If you don't then you must be a Zen Master. I don't see how any rational person sees how these people drive and don't want to ram their car into a ditch. The funniest and most road rage inducing offense is when the rain has stopped, but the road is still wet, these idiots drive on the interstate like they're driving in a fucking neighborhood!
It's incredible to me how bad people handle driving in the rain. It's like watching people devolve back to Neanderthals and seeing fire for the first time. It's just utterly pathetic. I hope these irritating jack asses go home and pray every night that we eventually get those autopilot cars they had in I Robot, Minority Report and Demolition Man. I don't care which design they go with. I just want a less annoying drive when it starts raining.

The Jukebox #7 - Best New Albums today for Dealing with a nail in your tire and not being able to salvage it and having to buy a new... Whew!

Best of the Week: The Great Bertholinis - Gradual Unfolding of a Conscious Mind, Pt. 3

Still Pretty Kick Ass: The Greenhornes - ****
Young the Giant - Young the Giant
Tahiti 80 - Solitary Bizness EP
The War on Drugs - Future Weather
Pepper Rabbit - Beauregard
No Age - Everything In Between

Favorite Tracks Right Now: Carolina Liars - I'm Not Over You
The Black Keys - Tighten Up
Kings of Leon - Birthday
Neon Trees - 1983
Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Home
Dexter Freebish - Do You Want To

Leave the fucking dog at home...

What's with people bringing their damn dog EVERYWHERE they fucking go? I mean seriously, do you really need to bring your dog to Costco or Home Depot? I mean, don't get me wrong, I just love driving through a parking lot and almost getting hit because some stupid bitch wants to have muffin pretend she's driving a moving vehicle. You men and women who bring your dogs with you everywhere get over your separation anxiety and leave them at home. If I ever get hit by one of these fucking idiots I'm suing the shit out of them and taking everything they own just based on principle. And I don't care if they got 8 kids. It's these idiots fault that they'll be sharing a cardboard box out on the street having to do special "favors" to get money to buy food to eat. "Sorry Mindy, it's your day for 'chores.'" You want to walk them? Then go to the park or hell, the sidewalk outside your apartment complex or your fucking neighborhood. Dogs aren't children. It's socially acceptable to leave your dogs outside in the backyard chained up till you get home. They even got dog crates they can hang out in while you're shopping. I know the wonderment of seeing your dog shitting in a retail store is just to amazing to pass up, but no one else shares your excitement. Also, what's with people buying sweaters and other clothes for their dogs? I mean halloween costumes? I'm cool with that. It's appropriate, but do you really think that your dog is excited to get some jacket that you got them for christmas or their birthday? When you're putting those things on your dog and better yet after you put the jacket on you can just look at the dog's reaction and see how miserable they're feeling. Its like giving them an apple or candy corn for halloween. Dogs get more excited when they get a chew toy or a bone. It's the equivalent of when I was six or seven and I got the Technodrome and the Turtle Blimp for Christmas. It's one of those "Best Day of my Life" moments. So, what have we learned? Leave pups at home and no doggy clothes (lame).

Yeah that's right.

Wendy's. Is it the greatest fast food on earth? Fuck yeah it is!

So had some Wendy's this week (I'm good for about 2 to 3 times a week)  and after enjoying the hell out of some $1 menu sandwiches I felt compelled to go on top of a mountain and make a proclamation that Wendy's is the GREATEST fast food on the fucking planet. Why do you ask? First off it you have to ask then you're completely out of your element and have not gone out and lived and devoured this amazingness. I mean fuck, where do you start? The value meals? Nothing short of brilliance. It's got the single burgers (regular, baconator, and bacon deluxe) which are just for the pussies who count there carbs or whatever the fuck they count. The real start of the menu starts with the double cheeseburger onto the classic triple and then the greatest creation brought by man, the Baconator. I mean how can you not love the baconator? Get a double or triple and your sent off to extacy. Then it's cool younger brother the bacon deluxe is also amazing. God Bless anyone who decides that the only thing to make a hamburger more delicious is to add more bacon. Bacon, the sweet nectar of life and the curer of all problems. But it's not just the burgers that are amazing, the chicken wraps, the chicken club, and homestyle fillet are all mouth watering. Let's not forget the spicy chicken sandwich that burns so good and the countless salads, chicken nuggets and everything else they have. I could go on all day about my love of Wendy's and how it's amazing. If you're one of the lucky few who get to experience their breakfast menu, which put's everyone else's to shame, then savor it because it's not available everywhere. Which is complete bull shit. A breakfast menu that amazing should be available everywhere. It's so damn good I'm willing to drive from marietta to Buckhead or Smyrna (only two locations I know that have it) to get it. The seasoning they use in the sausage is to die for and their chicken biscuit is the equivalent of two chick filet chicken biscuits put together. It's fucking epic in size. Also the Artisan Egg Sandwich? Makes you wanna standup and beg for buttermilk. Don't believe me? Google this shit! The menu is amazing! Man, all this Wendy's talk is making me hungry, might go make for a run.

The Jukebox #6 - Did you just fail an Anatomy Test? Listen to this! It brightened my day!

The Joy Formidable - I Don't Want to See You Like This - Deluxe Single
Ima Robot - Another Man's Treasure (quite the departure for them, relaxing and interesting)
Hot Panda - How Come I'm Dead
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic  Zeros - Up From Below
Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More
Kings of Leon - Come Around Sundown
Dexter Freebish - Shine On (Yeah, haven't heard from these guys since junior year of high school in '00)
The Thermals - Personal Life

HOO-FUCKIN-RAY that's some good music!

Purple Nurple. The Most Deadliest Fighting Technique

Did we learn nothing from Saving Silverman....

In 2001 a little movie came out called Saving Silverman. In the movie, three best friends were put to the test when one of the friends started going out with Amanda Peet and ended up becoming her bitch pretty much.  Anyway, she forbids him from seeing his best friends and even making him burn his Neil Diamond records (for shame!). In the end, the guys find the right girl for him (that they like) and they all find there significant others and blah blah blah. I guess the point I'm getting to is we all have friends that at some point get into a relationship, but you always have that one guy or girl who get into one of those relationships and they just decide to be totally cut off from civilization. I mean I just don't get it. Why the hell would you want to be with someone that doesn't get along with your friends? I mean do you really want to only see your friends at high school reunions or when your spouse goes on vacation? Seriously? How depressing is that? I'm not saying that you can't bring your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend and be social with your group of friends. I just don't see why these people can't just set some time like once every other week or once a month just so people know that your still fucking alive. The amazing thing about this is when they do finally go out, they're acting like Jake Gyllenhaal from Bubble Boy, like it's they're first time entering society.  Which brings me back to Saving Silverman, the movie did an extreme version of how friends react to this sort of circumstance, but there is something to learn from this. Don't become your significant others bitch. Everyone says there's supposed to be compromises in relationship (which I'm not ignorant to the fact that that's never true). All I'm saying is sometimes you don't have to do the Bed Bath and Beyond/Home Depot weekend. There's four weekends in a month it should be reasonable to set aside time for one day to do something without your spouse.  I mean, unless you're not married, you have your entire life together. All this being said though, if they got kids all this is just words (of course some people regardless might say that anyway. Eh, fuck it).

Fanny Packs. Why?

So I'm at work working on this winter reset for at Home Depot (where I work) and all of a sudden I see this guy I work with (who is clearly one of the dumbest, most useless people I've ever met, and he's like 45, and has the work ethic of a spoiled 15 year old) wearing a fanny pack. Yes a fucking fanny pack. I felt like I somehow traveled back to 1995 with Doc Brown looking back at how idiotic we all were for wearing these things and sharing a good laugh and a beer afterwards. Unfortunately, it wasn't 1995 or any year before that it was 2010 and I am seeing before my eyes a grown ass man wearing a fanny pack. I'm starting to think it's an old person thing and they're still living in the 20th Century waiting for Murder She Wrote or Fraiser to come on. Naw, fuck that. There is no excuses for someone to wear a fanny pack this day and age. I mean, really, are these people going to Six Flags or Disney World everyday? What could you possibly need so badly that wouldn't fit in your pockets? This guy at work is given a damn apron to hold shit he needs and his keys and wallet are in his pants pocket. What the hell else would you possibly need to carry a fanny pack around for? Also how could you look yourself in the mirror knowing that you willing are going to go around and where a fanny pack? It's not like you're a pro wrestler or something. Also what's up with those guys buying jeans too tight to put there damn keys and wallet in there pants? You don't see football players doing this. I mean what the hell?

Antonio Gates and Miles Austin. You've just hit the Shit list.

Well it's Sunday so anyone who's really into sports knows that today is fantasy football day. A day where we sit back, open our laptops, turn on NFL Red Zone (or Fox and CBS) and begin a lazy day of watching grown ass men beat the shit out each other up and down the field. With the ultimate goal in giving us as many points as possible so we can win, move onto the playoffs and win that large sum of money we all have contributed in. But, I'm sure in most cases today, most of us were fucked over by these two individuals: Antonio Gates and Miles Austin. I had the displeasure of taking on a good friend of mine who's a cross between Ellen Degeneres and donkey from Shrek who had both these fuckers on his team. Victory seemed to be in my sight even with a lack Wide Receiver help which eventually led to my downfall (Fuck you also Peyton Manning and Joe Flacco. Especially you Flacco, throw to Boldin more often!). So for Gates I will simply quote The League with a "I hope you get mouth cancer." I now know your pain Ruxon. For Miles Austin I hope you get multiple std's from your time with the Kardashian skank with the nice ass. Also maybe a season ending injury for you and Roy Williams so Dez Bryant will be worth drafting. Here's to better luck next weekend. Side note Laura Vandervoort is smoking hot. Like murder people to be with her type of hot.

The Jukebox #5 - Stuff to Listen to. Album(s) Day.

Best of the Bunch: New Politics - New Politics

Still Pretty Kick Ass: Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix Remixes
The xx - xx
Phantogram - Eyelid Movies
Chromeo - Fancy Footwork & Business Casual
Pete Yorn - Pete Yorn
Clinic - Bubblegum
Apache Beat - Last Chants
Aloe Blacc - Good Things
I am Arrows - Sun Comes Up Again

Favorite Tracks right now: Linkin Park - The Catalyst ("Guitarmageddon" Does it Offend You Yeah? Remix)
The Bravery - I am Your Skin
Maximum Balloon - Absent of Light
Bloc Party - Biko (Mogwai Remix)

T-Shirt + Blazer = Taken over by douchebags.

Back in 2001 I bought a corduroy blazer started wearing it usually with a collar shirt, but with a t-shirt because it was more comfortable. Anyway, wasn't doing to be stylish or cool, but mainly because no one else was doing it because apparently dressing like your father going to the golf course or causal dress day was the "cool" thing to wear. Now slowly but surely the blazer/t-shirt combo has made it's way mainstream and now it gives every pretentious douche (the worst kind, next to cops) started wearing them. You all know these fucks. The asshole that tells lame jokes, the type of jokes you get embarrassed about when your dad says them, and then does that overly exaggerated laugh that sounds so fake that it might be worthy for a razzie. They also wear all this overly price designer crap as well. And that fucking laugh, mouth just open and no laughter coming out, and it they do laugh it sounds like the dave chappelle white man skit.  Also, if it's not the obnoxious laugh then it's the fucking drive heave sounding laugh. Which just sounds completely creepy like a fucking molester. Anyway I blame these fuckers (and to extent hipsters as well. Just because hipsters are just as pretentious and suck) mainly for ruining the blazer/t-shirt combo. It's now been made only socially acceptable to wear at like theme parties or something just as random. Worst I got a fucking sweat red blazer that I love, but can't wear anymore. I mean no self respecting person wants to be associated with these type people. We're all better than that.