Guys and short shorts, and how it's all Magnum P.I.'s fault.....

So yeah. I don't get this whole guys wearing short shorts thing. I would blame Wham!, but they had more of a female audience (I guess that includes gay guys) than a male audience. No, there's one man to blame for this and his name is Magnum P.I. I know, I know the show ran in the 80's, but come on! Who hasn't watched this show?! I mean the main thing that should be taken away from this show is of course the magnificent mustache. I'm pretty sure Mags' stache was hand crafted by Leonardo and blessed by Odin himself. It saddens me that the other thing taken from this show was Magnum's unfortunate choice of wearing short shorts. I'm sorry Magnum P.I. is supposed to be a bad ass, and bad asses don't wear short shorts. I give Magnum the benefit of the doubt since it was the 80's, which had better music than fashion. Today though,  we are in the year 2011. The 21st Century. A time where the only acceptable length is 2 or 3 inches above the knee, and maybe long enough to cover up the knee a little or completely, but no longer. The weird guys who wear shorts that are really long to the point that they look like their wearing capris falls into the unacceptable category. Magnum P.I.'s success in the 80's affected the male audience who watched judgements into wearing short shorts that has clearly carried onto their children and whatever fraternity they were a part of. You see douchebags in Buckhead and some parts downtown wearing their short khaki shorts (and visors, which is a rant for another day) looking like they're going to a Revenge of the Nerds Tribute Costume party celebrating the douchebagness of the Alpha Betas. As bad as those idiots are though, nothing compares to the most offensive perpetrators. We all know these type of assholes. The dreaded Guy who likes to run who wears extremely unnecessary short shorts. You know, the shorts that only hot chicks who go jogging should wear. Why do these idiots wear these? And they wear them at the pool! Where children go to swim! It's terrible and they always make you uncomfortable. Plus if one of them decides to talk to you, there's the risk of them being close talkers (shudder). It's unfortunate that a great show from the 80's like Magnum P.I. ends up having something as awful as the guys wearing short shorts trends connected to it. I think if Magnum could do it all over again I think he would rethink his wardrobe choice. I mean jeans go well with hawaiian shirts right?

Sometimes TV series need to know when to quit you instead of dragging it out....

So I'm currently re-watching my seasons of Weeds and it's occurred to me that this show, as much as I love it and others, need to know when it's time for them to end. I know that the studios that produce these shows pretty much control this issue, even though in interviews the creators claim that they ultimately decide when their shows come to an end, but sometimes it doesn't seem like the case. It's hard to pass up a big contract promising more money to keep your show going. And also I'm not going to try to understand how all this shit goes down in Hollywood, I'm just a simple man on his laptop voicing my opinion. From re-watching Weeds and some of the new episodes, I've come to conclusion that this show should end this season even though it hasn't been announced and I think they're planning an 8th. Much as I love watching Nancy Botwin and all the situations she puts her family and friends in leading to disastrous results, the show has in my opinion, reached all the possible storylines they could do with this show. That includes what I've seen of this season so far. Which makes me wonder if creators really do have an ending mind when they create these shows or it's all bullshit when the say so in interviews. A perfect example of this is Lost. The creators always went on record of having an ending and it was going to last five seasons, but they ended up dividing the 5th season to do a 6th season and drag out the story. The last season, as much as I enjoyed it, just seemed to add more mysteries to an already long list of mysteries. The final episode didn't close out a lot of them. I have a love/hate relationship with the final episode. Love how all the characters stories ended, but hated how the mystery of the island was never even answered or any attempt was made to answer it. Which made me conclude that they never had any explanation for it and was banking on people caring more about what happened to the characters than the overall mystery of the island. Which, if true, is pretty fucking stupid. This is what worries me about Weeds and other shows I enjoy that are ending this year.
Take for example Rescue Me. One of, if not my favorite show of all time. Season 6 should of been the final season of that series. Did I enjoy the season? Sure, but I have a feeling that after this final season we'll look back and say, "Maybe they should've combined seasons 6 and 7 to be the final season." I say this because some storylines weren't too terribly interesting or just seemed like it's been done before. The Shield was guilty of this. Season 6 wasn't that bad, but overall it seemed sort of directionless and the finale was flat. Season 7 was much better than 6, but also dragged out storylines more than they should have. I think the show would've benefited from combining the two into one 13 to 15 episode season. I mean, the Shane and family as fugitive arc went on longer than it should have and made you stop caring about what happened to them. Other than that minor quibble, The Shield had a satisfying series finale. The fact that in two episodes they were able to change the tone of the show from you rooting for Vic Mackey to thinking he's an evil son of a bitch who just used people, was pretty incredible.  Also, isn't it an interesting dichotomy in our society that a majority of us hate cops, I mean we respect their profession, but we just dislike them. With that feeling in mind we also love watching shows and movies about them. I find it interesting. I know right? Sorry I was talking to my inner monologue. His name's Montgomery and we have a rollicking good time together (to quote the Joker, "I'm not crazy. I'm..... not.)

So I guess what I'm getting at is we all have a fear that shows we have invested in either wear out their welcome (That 70's show, X-Files) or end up ending in a disappointing or conflicting way (Lost, Seinfeld). As long as Entourage and Rescue Me don't fall into the latter category I'll be happy. Friday Night Lights proved they can end with an amazing finale. As long as they don't sell out like Scrubs did when they came out with that bullshit "Final Season", when they became teachers after the year before's finale should of been the series finale. That was one of the most satisfying finales I've ever seen, but was ruined because they rather drag the show out and end it on low note because ABC thru some cash at them. I mean shit, you're already rich from the successes of the previous seasons! Don't be money grubbing whores. Aw well, Hakuna Matata!

Nerd Alert #11 - The movies are popular for a reason..... Jump on board if you dare...

Grant Morrison's Batman Run (plus other books that add to the story)
Taking cues from the Nolanverse of Batman movies and the out there concepts of the sci-fi era of Batman books, Morrison has weaved an epic (that concludes at the end of 2012) that has reinvigorated and made the Batman line of books the most interesting and original they've been since the No Man's Land era from way back in '99. From a character study of Bruce Wayne and the Joker (who is at his best in this run), to expanding on the history of the Wayne family and Gotham itself, to taking a character, Damian Wayne, who everyone hated to becoming one of the most unique and interesting Robin's ever, and finally, adding more and showcasing how awesome Dick Grayson and Tim Drake are. Also not to forget the fantastic new status quo with the creation of Batman Inc. Batmen in every country and all the new interesting characters that have come out of this. It's true the first half of the story is kinda confusing at first, with the inclusion of Final Crisis, but that's part of the fun of the whole story. It makes you think and really invest in the story and being rewarded with the outcome. So if your looking for a original and fun Batman experience than check out these books.

Batman and Son, Resurrection of Ra's al Ghul, The Black Glove, Batman R.I.P., Final Crisis, Batman & Robin: Batman Reborn, Red Robin: The Grail, Red Robin: Collision, Batman & Robin: Batman vs Robin, Time and the Batman, Return of Bruce Wayne, Batman & Robin: Batman & Robin Must Die, Batman Inc. Vol. 1, Batman Inc: Demon Star, Batman: Gotham's Most Wanted

Pride of Baghdad and Y: The Last Man by Brian K. Vaughn, Niko Henrichon and Pia Guerra 

Pride of Baghdad is the story of a Pride of lions that escaped the Baghdad Zoo during the American bombing raid in 2003. This story is mainly about survival and the desire to be free, also using the interactions between the different animals as a metaphor for the political nuances that happen in the modern world. The book does a great job of establishing these lions' character and make you care about what happens to these lions. If you know the news story of what happened to these lions then you already know the end, but the journey that gets you to that end point is what makes this an incredible read. Also, make sure you take time to appreciate the amazing artwork by Niko Henrichon. His artwork is absolutely beautiful. Highly recommended.

Y: The Last Man is one of the true classics to come from DC Comics' Vertigo line. It's takes the last man on earth concept and makes it into a globetrotting mystery of trying to figure out how all the men died. Also it's an interesting study of how the world would be like if there was only women in the world. Starting with the shock and trying to adjust to the chaos that has just been put on their doorsteps and how they begin to make steps of trying to bring peace and order to this new world. All the while Yorick, Agent 355, and Dr. Mann (the main characters) try to find out the reason the men died and how they can possibly clone Yorick so humanity can continue to live on. The series is completely heartwarming, hilarious, action packed, and engaging that keeps you wanting more as you read the collected books. Also, around the third hardback collection, I realized that Yorick and I are close to being the same person, with the humor, pop culture references, and overall personality. Except all the escape artists stuff. Do yourself a favor and read this series. If it doesn't make you a fan of graphic novels and show you how amazing a medium this is then there is something seriously wrong with you.

Paperbacks - 10 Volumes Hardbacks - 5 Volumes 

Sleeper by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips

Sleeper is an amazing crime noir/espionage book that follows the character Holden Carver as he's gone undercover in a supervillain terrorists group run by Tao. As it gets deeper and deeper into the organization he sees him get more conflicted and questioning his morals as he begins to question his loyalty to the government he works for and even Tao himself. It has ties to other comic series in the Wildstorm universe (that's now defunct and mixed into the DC line of superheroes), but you really don't need to know about any of those to enjoy the book. The book does a great job of immersing you into this world and it's characters and takes you on a journey that has twist and turns you don't see coming and keep you coming back for more. Highly recommended.

Paperbacks - Sleeper Season One and Sleeper Season Two

If you're looking for a good movie adaptation you're probably smurf out of luck...

So with the announcement I read today that they're going to make a Captain Planet movie, even though I thought the show sucked as a kid, it got me cringing again at the fact that Hollywood's going to fuck up another childhood cartoon we all used to enjoy. First it was Scooby Doo, which was beyond awful. I don't count the Flintstones movie, because  I liked that. I mean you got John Goodman and Rick Moranis, what's not to love? Anyway, first Scooby, then Garfield, which somehow both of these have churned out sequels carrying on the corny awfulness. I mean did anyone watch Underdog or Fat Albert? You probably didn't, cuz the trailers, thankfully showed you how awful the movies were going to be. Plus any movie starring Kenan Thompson you just know is going to suck cuz the man is NOT funny. I'm not even going to get into Alvin and the Chipmunks. My disdain for those movies and how the chipmunks are portrayed still angers me. If I wanted to watch a movie with talking chipmunks I'll watch Chip n' Dale.  I mean they were the size of children in the show! Also, what the hell happened to Jason Lee? Seriously? How irrelevant has that guy become? Sometimes I forget that he played one of my all time favorite characters, Brody, in Mallrats. Guess that's what happens when you decide playing a redneck in a bad TV show is a good career move. Now this brings me to the Smurfs. The Smurfs, one of the cornerstones of cartoon shows we all watched as children, and if your one of those pretentious jerk offs who claim you never watched it cuz "you were outside all time", making it sound like playing outside wasn't common place when we were all kids and that your better then every one because you were outside all time, then you are a fucking liar and can go fuck yourself and you're going to probably die of skin cancer anyway. Whew! Anyway, looking at the trailer, not even NPH can save this movie. I don't get what goes into the mind Hollywood screenwriters when they adapt these movies. It's like they've learned nothing from the Pixar or Shrek movies. Or for that matter, all the Looney Tunes shows that have been out. If they paid attention to how they handle humor and actually making it funny for the entire audience they would make better movies. It's like their overly trying to dumb down the material because they think children won't be able to handle the movie if they made it a little more sophisticated. I mean I know nowadays we have more overbearing and close minded parents who feel the need to censor everything from their children like their amish or something, which come to think of it is probably why these movies suck so much. I finally figured out why these are done so poorly and make you feel dumber after watching them! I was wondering why because it seems like more and more these days that people have lost all sense of imagination and wonder and are more concerned with everything being more realistic. It's like they've lost that sense of enjoyment when you take a minute or two out of your day (or longer) and just escape into your imagination, whether it be a book, comic, or movie. Anyway, I wish Hollywood would just leave these shows alone and actually come up with original ideas. What a concept....

Jukebox #19 - Albums that have been awesome since Feb. 26th.

Iron On - Oh the Romance
Alexander - Alexander
Arctic Monkeys - Suck it and See
Death Cab for Cutie - Codes and Keys
Foo Fighters - Wasting Light
Foster the People - Torches
Friendly Fires - Pala LP
An Horse - Walls
The Sounds - Something to Die For
The Strokes - Angles
Taking Back Sunday - Taking Back Sunday
TV on the Radio - Nine Types of Light

Ah Joker, you embody the whole "I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys R'Us kid!"

Vents and Ramblings Reborn!!!

Yeah so it's been since Feb. 26th since my last rant or post (whatever). A lot has gone on since that point. Like my realization that lesbians love soccer. Yeah, I thought they just liked basketball, color me surprised. Plus they are still keeping that idiotic faux hawk look relevant and the whole no shaving their pits thing. They must really like that Dawson's Creek song. Another thing I learned, is that apparently women like to role play rape! Yeah, didn't see that coming. To be fair I heard this from a guy who only had one woman he did this with, so me thinks that this lady was just fucking weird. I mean I'm sure there are plenty of women out there that like rough sex, but I doubt there are women who would want to role play that. But, the world is a messed up and weird place so who knows right? I mean people like fucking animals, so anythings possible. I started my Graphic Design classes and been doing some photoshop pieces (I might post some of this later), so yeah, this my attempt of being an artists, if I would call myself that. Also, I think depending on how next summer goes, the superhero movie might be on it's last legs. I mean, other than Captain America (which hasn't come out yet), X-Men: First Class, Green Lantern (despite you negative nancies thinking it was bad), and Thor were fun and enjoyable movies in my opinion. Thor was a GREAT movie despite someone I know, who has apparently lost their mind and thought that it sucked, continued the Avengers momentum, but all three of those movies didn't, money wise, do all that spectacular. I mean Transformers 3 did better than all three of the superhero movies, and that was coming off a horrendous sequel. Dark Knight Rises, Man of Steel and Amazing Spider-man are pretty much givens to do well at the box office and draw attention to the genre, but these three characters will always have a draw from mainstream non comic fan audiences. Which means they don't need a Superhero genre. The Avengers is probably the most important superhero movie ever to be released. It's taking a concept that only geeks truly appreciate, which is the teaming up of their favorite heroes into one book, in this case a movie, and putting them in an all out epic adventure. This movie is either going to amazing or completely suck. There is no in between or gray area. This is one of the hardest concepts to translate to movies or live action TV, what makes this difficult is that it's hard to pull this off and not make it corny. Thankfully most of the current superhero movies aren't following the model of the original Spider-man trilogy, cuz if it did it would be incredibly corny. Some great special effects and action sequences to be sure, but have you really sat down and watched the original movies. Those films have some of the corniest lines, jokes and b movie quality shots (also they don't capture the fun that Spider-man brings). So, Avengers more important for the genre than Dark Knight Rises. You heard it hear first. Also if I don't get an NFL season this year rage will be unleashed.  Stayed tuned for my next rant, whenever that will be, will focus on how Hollywood keeps ruining my childhood by making shitty movies of my favorite saturday morning cartoons. I.E. The Smurfs, Garfield and Alvin and the Chipmunks.