Faux Hawks. Why?

Seriously, why? I don't understand why this hairstyle is so popular. First it looks ridiculous. It does. Think about it, the only outcome of this hairstyle is that you'll end up looking like a porcupine that dresses like a douche. Plus, I bet the geeks that have this hairstyle take longer to get ready than their girlfriends. What do they have to use, like, half a bottle of gel to get the style correctly? Second, if they're trying to look like David Beckman, then they need to grow up and get a life. Also, if you're over 35, I don't want to see this hairstyle on you. All you're doing is acting like that midlife crisis guy in Varsity Blues that Tweeter hits in the balls with the whiffle ball bat. You remember that scene? Hilarious. Anyway, do you want to be that guy? Really? No one wants to be that guy. Unless you're a punk rock kid in high school trying to show how you don't conform to societies rules, then there's no reason to have any type of hawk on your head. I wonder if the hairstylist laughs at them when they ask for that cut, you know? I would. I mean it's like asking for the old surfers haircut you had back in middle school, but you're asking for it in your 20's or 30's. You know, the haircut that you shaved the bottom of your head and your hair hangs over it or grows over it. Whatever. You know what I mean. The faux hawk is on the same level as the surfer haircut. Don't believe me? Trust me. Time will prove me right.