Why Ron Swanson is the greatest character ever. EVER.

Ron Swanson. A true american with the greatest mustache to ever walk the face of the earth. Yeah, I'm saying it's better than Tom Selleck's. Don't agree? Than you're an idiot. And if you're response to that is to call me an idiot, then all I have to say to you is I know you are but what am I? Why is Ron Swanson awesome? Well for one he has created the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.  The awe inspiring pyramid to reach greatness in your life. A better explanation for the pyramid would be How to live like a Swanson. I'll just share a few gems from this pyramid. Torso - Should be thick and impenetrable. Body Grooming - Only women shave beneath the neck. B.O. - Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice. There are more below. What makes Swanson awesome also is that he appreciates a good meal. Like his creation of Turf n' Turf. A meal consisting of a T Bone with a Porterhouse. Sounds delightful. Let's not forget the turkey leg with bacon wrapped around it, or as it's also called a Swanson. Greatest Combo Ever. Now let me get to Ron's mustache. Seriously, I wish I could grow a mustache that commanded that much respect. It's amazing. The fact that Ron thinks that the government should be privatized and follow a business model like Chuck E. Cheese is what? You're right. BRILLIANT! Along with the woodworking, his shop is legendary, he has an alter ego called Duke Silver. Yeah he's a jazz musician. Awesome. So bottom line everyone should strive to be a Swanson. I mean, why wouldn't you want to be?