First off, It's time I've tackled the most ridiculous style trend in the history of man, Skinny Jeans. The skinny jeans fad has gotten so out of control, that men in their 40's, let me reiterate that, MEN IN THEIR 40'S, have started to wear this shit. Granted, their the douche yuppy assholes you see in the city, you know the guy desperately trying to stay relevant and dress like whatever's popular on MTV or Vh1, yeah, that guy. Which just adds to ridiculousness of the trend. Now don't confused the slim straight jeans with the skinny jeans. There is a difference. The difference is that the slim straight jeans don't suffocate your entire lower half and look like someone painted jeans on you. Which brings me to my next point, how the hell can people be comfortable wearing those? I mean seriously? I made the mistake a couple years ago buying some jeans on Urban Outfitter's website. They looked like normal relaxed fit jeans in the picture and when they came in I put them on and the pant legs felt like suction cups grabbing my legs. I was pissed! But, to answer your question, yes I did wear them for awhile until I gave them to goodwill. They cost $30 bucks! Of course I going to wear them and get my money's worth. Am I proud of it? No, but we all make mistakes in life. It's how you learn from them that makes you the person you are. Anyway, I feel we as a society need to nip this trend in the bud. When fat people start wearing skinny jeans, then that's when you need to rise up and stop the madness! Fat people in skinny jeans is like that inconsiderate bitch at the pool that wears a bikini when clearly she shouldn't be. I don't go to the pool to see stretch marks and rolls upon rolls of fat. Sorry, I'm a man of simple tastes. The main offenders of the fat people wearing skinny jeans dilemma is the fat dudes of course. I mean they already have a none too flattering physique, but when you add skinny jeans into the mix, then all you're doing is accentuating all that fat. One, your gut sticks out more. Two, Every guy in skinny jeans looks like they have fat misshaped legs. With the fat people though, when their jeans sag it looks like they're walking around with a full diaper of shit in their pants. The only people that are aloud to wear skinny jeans is hot chicks. It may be a shallow thing to say, but it's true. I mean who wouldn't rather see a hot chick with a nice body in skinny jeans? Especially if they got boots on? Hell yeah I would! Also if you don't like boots on a chick then you are fucking stupid and should be condemned to watching nothing but reality Tv shows for the rest of your idiotic life. So to conclude, skinny jeans are like bell bottoms, there not cool and they never will be. END IT.
The Jukebox #15
So in continued celebration here's my favorite albums to well...... celebrate too.
Apples in Stereo - Velocity of Sound
Better than Ezra - Closer
Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet
Cobra Starship - Hot Mess
CSS - Donkey
Does It Offend You, Yeah? - You Have No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into
Justice - Cross
Saves the Day - Through Being Cool
The Knux - Remind Me in 3 Days
Ludacris - Word of Mouf
New Politics - New Politics
Ratatat - LP 4
Reggie and the Full Effect - Greatest Hits '84 - '87
The Movie Box #3
Movies (to name a few) that are just plain awesome and need to be owned by everyone! A beginner's list.
American Beauty
Princess Bride
Shoot 'Em Up
Predator
St. Elmo's Fire
Wayne's World
Ghost World
Demolition Man
Mallrats
Lucky # Slevin
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Best of the Best
Big Lebowski
Bulletproof
Nerd Alert #9
Recommended Graphic Novels
Green Lantern: Secret Origin. If you're wondering what to expect from The Green Lantern movie than reads this book. The movie may not adapt everything page for page, but Ryan Reynolds did say that this was their "bible" while working on the movie.
Superman: Earth One. If you're looking for a modern take on the man of steel than check out this book. It's well done and the artwork is fantastic.
Sleeper: Season One. If you love grim and gritty, super villains, noir, espionage and a thriller of a story then check out Sleeper. The writing is phenomenal and the characters are extremely entertaining and compelling. Must Read.
Well this concludes the celebration! Oh wait, I forgot our special guest star! Ludacris come on in. How are you today? "I'm phenomenal. Out promoting my new movie Fast Five and heard bout you're 50th. Decided to come by and congratulate you." Well thanks Luda, I appreciate it. But, I've got to ask, you honestly don't think Fast Five is a terrible name for a movie? I mean really? You're better than that! You were in Gamer, Hustle and Flow, Crash, and RocknRolla. What's up? "Paycheck baby. Why else? Every actor does a movie like that." Well at least you're keeping it real. Thanks for stopping by man. Lata. "Peace!" Aaaaaand Scene! This was brought to you courtesy of the voices in my head and a few vague moments from a dream that I had a couple weeks ago. So that's it. Bye.
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